Boardingly Journal

Tag: for teens

  • What Boarding Is Really Like at 13

    What Boarding Is Really Like at 13

    In short. Most days run to a shape: lessons in the morning, sport or clubs every afternoon, an hour or two of prep, then house time before bed. You’ll probably share a room at first. The food is fine, sometimes great. Homesickness is normal early on and it passes.
    You’re on the wing, boots on, and someone from your house shouts your name because a defender’s gone down and they’re a man short. You’ve been at the school four days. You don’t know half these lads. You go on anyway. Twenty minutes later you’ve made a tackle, someone’s clapped you on the back, and you realise you haven’t thought about home once. That’s the bit no brochure tells you. Boarding is mostly stuff to do, with people, all the time.
    Here’s what actually fills the day.

    What do you even do all afternoon?

    Sport and clubs. Nearly every day. Most boarding schools build the afternoon around activity, not lessons. So after morning classes you’ll be out for rugby, football, hockey, cricket in summer, or swimming, running, rowing, whatever the school’s set up for. If team sport isn’t your thing, there’s usually loads else: climbing, music, drama, art, coding, chess, debating, CCF (a bit like a taster of military training, fully optional), and Duke of Edinburgh with outdoor pursuits and expeditions at weekends.
    The honest version: some afternoons you’ll love, some you’ll drag yourself through. You don’t have to be good at sport. You have to turn up and have a go. That’s genuinely most of it. Turn up, have a go, and within a few weeks you’ll have found the two or three things you actually like.

    What about free time, gaming and my phone?

    You do get free time. Not loads on a weekday, but real gaps: before breakfast, between the end of prep and bed, more at weekends.
    Now the honest part, because this is the question every boy actually wants answered. Screen rules vary a lot by school, and you need to check the specific one you’re looking at. Some hand phones back at set times each day. Some collect them at night, especially for younger years, so they’re not in the dorm at 1am. Gaming consoles are often allowed in common rooms or house social time but not on school nights, or only at weekends. A few schools are stricter than that. A few are more relaxed.
    Nobody’s pretending 13-year-olds don’t want their phones. The rules exist so the place doesn’t turn into everyone sitting alone on a screen. Ask the exact policy before you go. If a school won’t tell you straight, that tells you something too.

    Do I have to share a room?

    At 13, usually yes, at least to start. Many schools put new younger boys in a shared room or a small dorm of three or four. As you go up the school you tend to get more privacy, and by the sixth form lots of boys have their own study bedroom.
    Sharing sounds worse than it is. You get a bed, a desk, somewhere for your stuff, and a roommate who’s as nervous as you on night one. Most boys say the shared start is where they made their first proper mates. You learn to live alongside someone, sort out whose turn it is to be quiet, and get on with it. It’s a decent skill to have.

    What’s the house actually like?

    Your house is your base. It’s the building you sleep in, eat some meals in, and hang around in. It’s run by a houseparent (sometimes called a housemaster) who lives there, plus other staff and often a matron who sorts out anything from a lost sock to feeling rotten.
    Here’s the thing that surprises people: houses mix year groups on purpose. You won’t just be with other 13-year-olds. There’ll be older boys around too, and that’s by design. The house becomes a bit like a big, slightly chaotic family. You get common rooms, table tennis or a pool table, a kitchen for toast at odd hours, and people to talk to.

    What are the older boys actually like?

    This is the worry a lot of 13-year-olds carry in silently, so let’s be straight. Mostly, they’re fine. Genuinely. The older ones have been the new boy themselves, they remember it, and most of them are decent to the younger years. Some become the ones who show you the ropes.
    Schools take this seriously. There are prefects, house staff living in, and clear rules, because mixing the years only works if the younger boys are looked after. If something’s off, if anyone’s unkind or worse, you tell a houseparent or matron and it gets dealt with. That’s what they’re there for. Don’t sit on it. But go in expecting the older boys to be alright, because usually they are. And the mixing only works because staff supervise it. It is not just rules on a wall: there are adults living in, and prefects whose job is to keep the younger ones safe. If anything crosses a line, you tell someone and it gets dealt with.

    If something feels wrong, not just homesick

    Missing home is normal and it passes. But if it doesn’t get better, or something feels wrong — someone is unkind or unsafe, you can’t sleep or eat, or you just can’t cope — tell your houseparent, matron, or your parents straight away. That is the strong thing to do. Some things are more than homesickness, and the adults are there for exactly this.

    What’s the food like?

    Better than you’re expecting, honestly. Most boarding schools have a big dining hall, hot meals three times a day, and a proper choice, including a vegetarian option and usually a salad bar you’ll ignore until about age 16. There’ll be days the food is brilliant and days it’s just fuel. Roast on a Sunday tends to be a highlight. And your house kitchen means toast, cereal or a snack when you’re hungry between meals, which at 13 is roughly always.

    A weekday at 13, hour by hour

    Every school’s timetable is different, but a typical weekday looks something like this:

    Time What’s happening
    7:15 Wake up, shower, get into uniform
    7:45 Breakfast in the dining hall
    8:30 Registration in your house, notices for the day
    9:00 Morning lessons (a few periods, short break in between)
    1:00 Lunch
    2:00 Afternoon lessons or straight into sport
    3:45 Sport, clubs or activities
    5:30 Back to the house, shower, downtime
    6:00 Prep (homework, quiet, supervised)
    7:15 Supper
    8:00 House time, common room, free time, screens if allowed
    9:30 Younger years head to bed (older years later)

    Weekends are looser: matches, trips, more free time, a lie-in.

    What if I feel homesick?

    You probably will, a bit, in the first week or two. Missing home doesn’t mean you’ve made a mistake or that you’re soft. It means you’ve got a home worth missing. Nearly every boarder feels it early. Nearly every one of them stops feeling it once the days fill up and the mates arrive.
    Tell someone if it’s heavy. Your houseparent and matron have seen it a hundred times and know exactly what helps. Ring home when you’re allowed. Then go and find the football, or the club, or the lad down the corridor who looks as lost as you feel.
    That’s the whole trick, really. The homesickness fades because you get busy, and you get busy because there’s genuinely something on every single afternoon. Give it a fortnight. Then check how you feel.

  • Starting Boarding at 13: An Honest Guide for You

    Starting Boarding at 13: An Honest Guide for You

    In short. Starting boarding at 13 is a big change, and feeling nervous is completely normal. Most people wobble a bit in the first fortnight, then settle. This guide answers the real questions: making friends, the food, phones, homesickness, weekends, and what that first week actually feels like.
    It’s the moment your family’s car pulls away. You’ve unpacked half a bag, your room smells like someone else’s washing powder, and a girl you’ve never met is standing in the doorway asking if you want to come down for tea. Your stomach does something odd. Part of you wants to go. Part of you wants to cry. Both of those are fine. Honestly, both at once is the most normal thing in the world on day one.
    So here are straight answers to the things you’re probably actually wondering, from someone who remembers what that first night felt like.

    Will I make friends?

    Yes. And sooner than you think, because everyone else is in exactly the same boat.
    Here’s the thing nobody says out loud: the other new girls are just as nervous as you. The confident-looking one who seems to know everyone? She’s faking it a bit too. When you all start together, there’s no established group you have to break into. You’re building it together from scratch.
    Friendships at boarding school form fast because you’re around each other all the time. You eat together, do prep together, watch films in the common room, moan about the early mornings. That much shared time does something. By half term you’ll have people who feel like family.
    You don’t have to be best friends with everyone. You just need one or two people you click with. Say yes to things in the first couple of weeks even when you don’t feel like it. That’s where the friends are.

    What is the food really like?

    Better than you’re expecting, and worse than your mum’s. Both true.
    Most schools do a canteen or dining hall with a few choices at each meal. There’s usually a hot option, a veggie option, a salad bar, and something with chips more often than your parents would like. Some days it’s genuinely good. Some days you’ll text home a photo captioned “help”. That’s boarding food. Everyone complains about it and everyone eats it.
    If you’re vegetarian, coeliac, or have allergies, the school will cater for you, but tell them clearly and early. Ask your parents to put it in writing before you arrive. The kitchen staff are usually lovely once they know you by name.

    Can I keep my phone?

    This one really depends on your school, so check your school’s exact rules before you pack.
    Some schools let you keep your phone and just have “off” times, like after lights out. Others collect phones overnight and give them back in the morning. A few have tighter rules for younger years and loosen them as you go up the school. There’s no single answer, which is why you need to look at your specific school’s policy or ask your houseparent directly.
    What’s true almost everywhere: you’ll be able to contact home. Calls, messages, sometimes a house phone. You will not be cut off from your family. If the phone rules worry you, that’s a completely fair question to ask on your first day. Nobody will think it’s silly.

    Will I be homesick? Is that normal?

    Yes, probably. And yes, completely normal.
    Homesickness isn’t a sign you’ve made a mistake or that you’re not cut out for this. It’s just what happens when you love your home and you’re not in it. Even girls who end up adoring boarding get homesick at the start. It often hits hardest at night, or on a Sunday, or right after a lovely phone call with your mum.
    Here’s the honest bit: the first two weeks can wobble. You might feel great in the morning and wretched by bedtime. Then, usually, it lifts. Not because someone fixed it, but because the place slowly starts to feel like yours. The corridors stop being strange. You have a seat you always sit in. It creeps up on you.
    If it doesn’t lift, or it feels too heavy to carry, tell someone. That’s not weakness. That’s the smart thing to do.

    If something feels wrong, not just homesick

    Missing home is normal and it passes. But some things are more than homesickness. If it doesn’t get better, or something feels wrong — someone is unkind or unsafe, you can’t sleep or eat, or you just can’t cope — tell your houseparent, matron, or your parents straight away. That is the strong thing to do, not the weak one. The adults are there for exactly this, and you will be taken seriously.

    Who actually looks after me?

    Your house. Boarding schools are split into houses, which is basically a big home with a group of pupils and the adults who look after them.
    The main grown-up is your houseparent (sometimes called a housemistress). They run the house, they know every girl in it, and a lot of their job is noticing when someone’s having a rough time. There are usually other staff too: a matron who sorts out plasters, laundry and homesick evenings, and older pupils called prefects or seniors who help the new ones settle.
    You are not meant to cope alone. If you can’t sleep, if you’ve fallen out with someone, if you just want to talk, that’s exactly what these people are there for. Knocking on the houseparent’s door is normal. Everyone does it.

    What do you even do at weekends?

    More than you’d think, and some blissful nothing too.
    Weekends are a mix. There’s usually sport on Saturdays, matches or training. Then clubs, trips into town, film nights, baking, art, music, sometimes a coach trip somewhere. Sundays are often slower: a lie-in, prep, calling home, hanging around the common room in pyjamas.
    You won’t be entertained every second, and that’s a good thing. Some of the best boarding memories are the unplanned ones. Sitting on someone’s floor at 9pm eating snacks from the tuck shop and laughing about nothing.

    What is the first week actually like?

    A blur. A good blur, mostly, with a couple of hard evenings threaded through.
    You’ll be handed a timetable and a map and you’ll get lost anyway. You’ll forget names and have to ask twice. You’ll be tired in a way you’re not used to, because your brain is working overtime just learning where everything is. And somewhere in that week, usually when you’re not looking for it, you’ll have a proper laugh with someone and realise you’re okay. Here’s a rough guide to what actually helps.

    What to pack that actually helps

    • A photo or two from home. Not your whole family album. One or two, by your bed.
    • Something that smells like home. A jumper, a pillowcase, a specific shampoo. Smell is weirdly powerful for homesickness.
    • A cosy blanket or throw. Makes a strange bed feel like yours in about ten seconds.
    • A door snack stash. Biscuits or sweets to share. Sharing food makes friends fast.
    • A refillable water bottle and a small torch. Dull, but you’ll use both constantly.
    • Stamps, an envelope, and your family’s address written down. A real letter home lands differently than a text.
    • A list of who to call and when. Your parents’ numbers, and your houseparent’s name, written somewhere you can find it at 10pm.
    • Comfy clothes for the common room. You live in these more than your uniform.
      Pack the practical stuff, yes. But the things that help most are the small ones that make a new room feel like it’s yours.
      One last thing, and I mean it. The girl standing in your doorway on day one, asking if you’re coming down for tea? A few weeks from now, that might be you, knocking on a new girl’s door. You’ll remember exactly how the first night felt, and you’ll be the reason hers is a little easier. That’s how this works. You’ll be fine. Better than fine, probably. Go down for the tea.